Dal "M" for Masala

Lentils are cheap, nutritious, and when you make them into the traditional Indian dish, dal, quite tasty. There are as many variations of dal as there are languages in India, and probably a few more thrown in for good measure. This is a basic one that won't make too many Indians wince, and you can certainly experiment and try different things out there. Google "Dal recipes" and you'll get an idea of the many different ways to make this.

Here's all you need for your first stab at it;

2 cups dried lentils
1 med onion
2-4 jalapenos (it's really up to you. I like mine spicy so I use 4-5)
2 tbsp curry powder
2 cloves garlic (more if you wish, it's really "to taste")
4 cups water
A bit of cooking oil (you should really use ghee, which is clarified butter, but I never feel like trying to make that. I generally use a mixture of butter and sesame oil. You probably don't want to use olive oil)
Salt (to taste)


Start by chopping the onion and peppers and throwing them in a hot pan with enough oil to saute them nicely. Rinse the lentils and set them somewhere to drain while the onions and peppers get good and soft. Mince and crush the garlic as finely as you can.

When the onion and pepper are cooked well enough, throw in the garlic and stir. Cook that for a minute or less followed by the water and lentils. Stir it all together and then add the curry powder. Bring it to a boil and then reduce to a simmer for about 45 minutes. You may need to add a bit of water near the end if it dries out too much. Best to keep an eye on it.

Serve over basmati rice.

You can cook this longer to get a more mushy consistency. I had a friend from Indonesia who would cook it long enough so that it was just a lumpy liquid served over the rice. It was delicious. If you want something like that but don't want to wait that long cooking, you can always take a cup or two of the cooked dal and puree it in the blender, then mix it back into the rest and serve it like that.

Lentils cost pennies per serving, and are a great source of protein.

Salsa, easier than you may think

It doesn't really take that much time to make a big batch of salsa, and the way I make it, it seems to keep pretty well (over a week in the fridge). The recipe I use is pretty basic, and it can be changed to suit any one's tastes. Here's what I start out with;

5-6 fresh tomatoes
1/2 a bunch of cilantro
1/4 of a medium onion
1 small clove of garlic (it's really easy to overdo the garlic)
2-3 jalapenos
1 Lime
Salt (you need to figure that out for yourself)


I generally use my food processor, but a blender will work as well. If you use the blender, you may wish to chop the ingredients smaller to begin with for a more consistent salsa.

Start by getting a large pot of water on the stove and bring it to a boil. While you're waiting for that to happen, you need to blister the skin of the jalapenos. You can do this on the grill (pretty fast) or in the toaster-oven (not so fast). Simply cook them until the skin begins to blacken and blister (it takes a while in the oven, so be patient. There's lots to do while you're waiting). Chop up the onion and cut up the cilantro. Crush or mince the garlic as well as you can (be careful not to use too much. It's easier to add more at the end, so be pretty stingy to start).

Put all of this in the food processor. By now, the water should be boiling vigorously. Put the tomatoes in there and let them boil until the skin starts to split. You don't want to cook them, you just want the skins to start peeling back. How long it takes depends on the tomato. I've seen some split as soon as they hit the water, and some take a few minutes. If they take more than five minutes, it's OK to poke them with a sharp knife to help 'em along.

As the skins split, remove them from the boiling water and place them in a bowl of cool water (you can even add ice to the water if you want. You want to serve the salsa cool, so this'll help get it there). Peel and chop the tomatoes into chunks. I generally discard the woody core as well.

By now, the jalapenos should be very well blistered. You want to get them into the cold water now and remove the cellophane-like skins. You don't need to get it all off, but it helps a lot to get most of it off. A combination of peeling and scraping seems to do the trick. Don't rub your eyes. I always do, but I'm not a pussy so it doesn't bother me. The rest of you may wish to wear gloves or something. Discard the stem portion and dice up the chilies and add them to the food processor. Now, squeeze the juice of one lime into the whole thing and run the blades until it's the consistancy you like. Taste it and start adding salt until it tastes right (generally a couple of tsps. does the trick.

Because of the lime juice (pretty acidic) and the cooking of most of the ingredients, I don't see this stuff spoil even after a week in the refrigerator (I keep it sealed in an airtight container). I generally make a batch of this every week or so. Most times, it doesn't even last the whole week because it gets consumed pretty quickly.

Like I always say (or I should always say), this is a basic recipe. There are any number of variations you can try, and you shouldn't be afraid to experiment. Use less jalepeno or more tomato if it's too hot, add roasted garlic for a more garlic-y variation, or try other ingredients. There's no "Salsa Police" out there to tell you not to.

Ma and Pa Kettle (corn)

Kettle corn, that slightly pricey popcorn snack that you see at state fairs and carnivals, is easy to make at home. You'd be surprised how easy.

Here's all you need;

Popcorn

Oil

Sugar (either granulated or powdered)

Salt

I assume you already know how to make popcorn on the stove top, so I won't go into the exact measures (I have never tried this in the microwave, so if you want to try and tell me how it turned out, I'm all ears).

What I like to do is get the oil into the pan and drop three kernels of popcorn into it. Once the three kernels pop, then the oil is hot enough to start. Drop the rest of the corn into the pot and then (quickly) sprinkle the sugar evenly around the pot (you don't want to just dump it in one spot or it'll clump up). For one half cup of unpopped kernels I use about 1 & 1/2 Tbsp of sugar. Now start shaking the pot over the heat. You're doing this to keep the popcorn from burning on the bottom and to keep the unpopped corn sifted to the bottom of the pot. Once the corn is popped, empty the pot into your serving bowl. Add the salt and there you go, Kettle Corn! The kids love it, and you will once again be the hero of the kitchen.

What a load of Crepe

Here's something that'll make your next Sunday brunch memorable and give it a little French cachet. Crepes are surprisingly easy to make, there are a lot of things you can do with them, and they freeze well, so I you make too many, they won't go to waste.

There are plenty of crepe recipes available on the inter webs. The one I'm giving you works very well for me, but you may wish to browse around and try some others. Here's all you need;

1 cup all purpose flour

3 large eggs (4 medium)

Milk (enough to bring the volume of the milk and eggs combined to 2 cups)

pinch of salt

melted pat of butter

1 tsp cinnamon*

1 tsp vanilla*

(* you may omit these items, or substitute any number of other things in their place. For example, you may wish to make a savory crepe with something like rosemary and garlic to go with a seafood dish. There are lots of possibilities. This is a blank canvas)

Mix all of the liquid (except butter) ingredients in a large mixing bowl and whisk them well. In a separate bowl, combine all of the dry ingredients and stir them together well. While whisking the liquid, slowly pour in the dry ingredients. When it's all mixed, then pour in the melted butter and whisk it until it's a bit frothy.

Get your non-stick pan moderately hot and, using a soup ladle, pour into the center of the hot pan about 1/4 - 1/3 cup of the mix. Swirl it around the pan to coat the entire bottom and let it set on the heat for a couple of minutes. After a bit, use a spatula to lift the edge and peek under the crepe. It should be starting to get a bit brown on the bottom. When it is, carefully flip it over and cook the other side for about the same amount of time. Once it's done, lay it on a plate and set it in a warm oven while you make the next one. I use two pans at a time to speed things up. This recipe will make about 2 dozen crepes. It takes a while to hit your optimum rhythm, but once you find it, you'll be a crepe makin' machine.

You can make a sauce for them from berries, serve them up with ice cream, or just roll them up and dust them with powdered sugar. Kids love 'em that way.

If you make too many, they can be frozen. Just put a sheet of waxed paper between them and seal them up in a zip-lock bag and drop 'em in the freezer.

Start baking bread. It's fucking easy.

The idea of baking bread seems pretty intimidating to people who've never done it before. There are so many ways to do it that it may seem complicated, but it's fucking easy. Here's an easy recipe that won't fail, no matter how stupid you think you are. This is all you need;

3 cups of all purpose flour

2 Tbsp sugar (white, raw, powdered, brown, it doesn't matter)

1 Tsp salt

1 cup warm water (tap water, it feels warm when you stick your finger in it. You don't need a fucking thermometer fer chrissake)

5 tbsp butter

1/4 cup milk

1 Tbsp active yeast (or one packet. It doesn't matter. The measure doesn't have to be exact)

The equipment you need is;

Large mixing bowl and mixing spoon

measuring cup

measuring spoons

5" X 9" bread pan (if you don't have one, you can form the loaf by hand and cook it on a cookie sheet)

Oven (duh!)

Clean counter top to knead the bread

Get started- Get the butter melting and put the warm water in the mixing bowl and dump in the yeast. Add the sugar and salt. Let it sit for a few minutes while the butter cools down. Throw the cool milk in the pan with the butter to cool it down faster. You don't want it too hot to touch. Throw the butter and milk into the mixing bowl with the yeast and water. Now dump in about half of the flour and start stirring. As the flour gets incorporated into the mix, keep adding flour a bit at a time.

Once it's all stirred in, reach into the flour bag and get a handful of flour and rub it all over your hands and spread it out on the counter where you're gonna' knead the dough. Use a spatula if you have one, or just use your hands and get the dough out onto the counter(I generally do it with my hands because I forget that I have a spatula until I have my hands in the dough) . Start kneading and do so for ten minutes. Keep adding flour to your hands and the counter to keep the dough from sticking. Make sure you knead for ten full minutes! It actually does matter.

After you're finished kneading, wash and dry the mixing bowl, and coat the inside with cooking oil. Drop the ball of dough in there and set it somewhere to rise for one hour. It's good to find a draft free place that's a bit warm. But don't worry about it too damned much. You can just put in on the kitchen table with a dish towel over it. In an hour, come back and look at it. It will be about twice as big as when you put it in the bowl. Punch it right in the middle and it will deflate like a balloon. Dump it back out onto the counter and flatten it out into a rectangle that has one side a bit less than the length of your bread pan. You're going to roll it up from that edge and set that roll in the oiled bread pan (if you don't have the bread pan, just place that roll of dough onto the floured cookie sheet). Dust the top of the loaf with a little bit of flour and lay that clean dish towel on top of it and let it rise again for another hour.

At some point during the second rising, you need to turn the oven on so it's pre-heated to 400 degrees (Fahrenheit, of course. Don't be so silly) by the time the hour is up. Put the loaf in the oven and cook for 30 minutes. After 30 minutes, take it out of the oven and pop it out of the pan. Let it cool for a few minutes before you start slicing it. You've made the homemade version of Wonder bread (the big difference being that your version has flavor). It's amazingly easy and amazingly good.

See how simple that is? Now go try it. Once you've done it, trying different bread recipes won't seem so damned intimidating. Here's a simple variation that you can use to get whole wheat bread just like you get at the store. Substitute one cup of the all purpose flour with one cup of whole wheat flour, and add about a quarter cup of wheat germ.

I'm sure that there are many readers of this blog who will take issue with my bread recipe because it's not "real bread" like the sourdough baguette that they love, or the whole grain ciabatta that they've got dialed in. To which I say "Of course it's not, it's the first step in baking bread". Try this, and then start to read more and experiment. You'll come up with something wonderful to share with your friends and family. That's the fun of cooking.

Pancake mix? We don't need no stinking pancake mix!

I thought it'd be really cool to learn how to make pancakes from scratch. I'd be some sort of super-dad who spent the pre-dawn hours working hard in the kitchen so that my son could have tasty homemade pancakes, cooked with paternal love. It was with a mix of horror and chagrin that I discovered just how unbelievably fucking simple it is to make without the mix. In fact, I would just like to point out that every dollar you have ever spent on instant pancake mix has been completely wasted. The premixed crap is neither easier nor faster to use. It is quite likely that you have all of the ingredients already in your pantry right now. If you don't, then whatever you're lacking will be far cheaper than the next box of Bisquick, and just as easy to make.

Here's all you need;

1 cup all purpose flour

1 Tbsp baking powder* (this and the flour are probably the only things that you may not have on hand)

2 Tbsp sugar

pinch of salt

1 large egg

Milk (enough to bring the volume of egg and milk together to 1 & 1/4 cup)

1 pat of butter, melted

(*that's baking powder, not baking soda. Big difference there)

Directions; Mix it all up and there's your batter, just like the fancy stuff that comes in a box. I like to add some cinnamon and vanilla (about a teaspoon of each) into the batter. It makes for a very tasty pancake.

Just pour the batter onto the hot greased griddle and flip them when they start to bubble on top. Cook'em on the other side until done and serve 'em to your kids. Tell them you made them from scratch and they'll think you're the king of the kitchen.

Discovering just how laughably easy it is to make pancakes from scratch actually opened up my eyes to how easy cooking really is. It was the "gateway dish" if you will. I am now completely unafraid to attempt anything in the kitchen. I hope this does the same for you if you've ever been intimidated by the stove.

Pearl Barley, the other white grain

The trouble with barley is that most people have no clue what to do with it once they get it. The only recipe on the package is for beef barley soup. Like Galliano, the anise flavored liquor whose only use seems to be in a harvey wallbanger, pearl barley seems to be the one-trick pony of the grain world.

But no more.

Here's a recipe that will transform this rather humble and inexpensive grain into a surprising and tasty side dish. You're guests will marvel at your culinary acumen while they ask for more. It's a bit like a tabouli salad, and it's a great dish for summer months. Here's what you'll need;

1 cup pearl barley (rinsed)

4 cups water

1/2 bunch Italian parsley (the regular stuff'll work well, too, so don't sweat it)

1/2 cup of roasted pine nuts or walnuts (walnuts are, literally, about 1/20th the price of pine nuts, so really, if you don't have a bag of pine nuts sitting around without a use, you'd save quite a bit by sticking to the walnuts)

1/2 cup chopped sun-dried tomatoes.

1/2 cup crumbled feta or goat cheese (the slightly soft goat cheese is better, I think, but the feta is easier to get hold of)

1/4 cup vinagrette

Put the rinsed barley onto the water and bring to a boil. Reduce to a simmer for 20 minutes then drain and rinse the barley in cold water and set aside. Chop the parsley and sun-dried tomatoes finely, then combine all of the ingredients and toss. Serve over a bed of romane lettuce leaves. This keeps well in the refrigerator for several days.

Baked Polenta

"What in the hell" you're asking, "is polenta"?

Or maybe you're not asking that.

For those of you that don't know already, polenta is corn grits. Not to be confused with hominy grits that some of us grew up on, but very similar in taste and appearance. Polenta is yellow, like corn, though.

You can buy polenta ready to eat in a tube, but I honestly don't know why the hell you'd bother. It's so damned easy to make fresh and you have a lot more say in how it comes out, plus it's a fraction of the cost. Here's a really simple way to make it and it comes out really good.

You will need;

One cup of corn grits (polenta)

One cup of grated mozzerella, provelone, or parmesian cheese, or any combination of those three.

A toe or two of garlic, finely minced or crushed

Some fresh or dried rosemary (fresh is better)

Three cups of water (or chicken stock)

Bring the three cups of salted water to a boil and then sprinkle in the grits. Do this carefully otherwise it may get lumpy. You wouldn't want that. Bring it back up to a boil, then reduce it to a simmer. It needs to cook like that for 5 minutes with some occasional stirring. Italian women will tell you that you should stir it continuously, but they just say that to make you think they do more work in the kitchen than they really do. They're lying. You want it to thicken up quite a bit, but not too much. It shouldn't be soupy, and if it is, leave it on the heat for a few more minutes.

After 5 minutes take it off the heat, add the garlic, the rosemary, and the cheese. It wouldn't hurt to drop a pat of butter in there. Stir all that together and then get a baking dish that will hold it all and paint the inside with some olive oil. After the polenta has cooled a little, pour it into the greased baking dish. You might wish to lay a couple of thin slices of cheese on top of it. This gets baked until the cheese topping starts to bubble. Remove it from the oven and let it sit for an half hour or so to firm up.

You can serve it up in fat slices with tomato sauce and italian sausage. It's something nice in place of pasta, and it's cheap.

You don't have to use rosemary, you could use any herb or even a variety of them. Or none at all. Polenta is a blank canvas, and you are only limited by your imagination. Have fun with it.

Dealing with a potato(e)

Potatos are a cheap food. They are relatively nutritious as well. Some people love them, some people (like myself) feel rather ambivalently towards them. There are about as many boring ways to cook a potato as there are boring people in the world. But there are also a good number of really tasty ways to make them (thankfully). This post is going to be an evolving one where I will add new ways to use this wonderfully carbo-rich and inexpensive vegetable in tasty ways.

Like all of my recipes here, I'll give you the basic rundown on a few basic ways to use some ingredient, and then give you a few interesting variations as (hopefully) inspiration for you to explore some wonderful culinary inventions with your own personal stamp.

Mashed potatoes. Pretty simple, but as leftovers, they can be used in a couple of very interesting ways. One is the potato pancake. Simply form the cold mashed potato into a small pancake and set it in a hot frying pan with a bit of oil. Cook on each side for long enough to brown it and so that it has a crispy outside. Good with a couple of eggs at breakfast or mix it with something savory as a side dish for dinner.

The other interesting use is potato bread. The potato is mixed with flour (about 50/50) and baked as a bread (with yeast, that is).

Baked potatoes. The only recommendation I have about baked spuds is that you should always make extra ones so that you can easily use them as leftovers for dishes like gnocci, potato bread, or the hash brown recipe below.

Hash browns. Here is a really simple way to prepare a potato and there's a lot of room to improvise and add. Here's my favorite variation, and a few sub variations that use up the left-overs. First, start out with a scrubbed raw potato or two. set them close at hand for the grating (if you grate them ahead of time, they tend to turn purple. If this doesn't bother you then don't worry about it, but if it does, either don't grate them until you're ready with a hot pan, or rinse them in cold water a bit before you cook them). I generally like to start with a bit of chopped onion and jalepeno in the mixing bowl. Start to get your pan warmed up while grating the potato. Squeeze out as much water as you can from the grated spud and add that to the onion and chili peppers. Then add salt and pepper and mix it well. Put some sort of cooking oil in the pan and put your potato in. Flatten it out like a pancake and cook it until it gets brown enough to flip. Cook it on the other side until it's brown and crispy. This is something I like to have with a steak.

Left-over uses! If you have some leftover mashed or baked potatoes (peel them and mash them up), you can squish them in with your hash browns and they will help to hold the whole thing together. It comes out very tasty. In fact, I often bake extra potatoes when I have the oven on so I can do this a few days later.