Hard Boil an Egg (perfectly, every time)

How hard is this? It's hard to do so consistently without making a science project out of it. Use the Google and search "Hard boiled eggs" and you'll see what I mean. I was amazed how complicated people can make it.

I recently got the hot tip for how to do it perfectly without any broken shells or green yolks.

The secret, of course, is time and temperature. The water should be boiling (duh). The problem with this is that if you put the cool eggs into the boiling water, it brings down the temperature so you need to wait for the water to come back up to a boil. Fine for one egg, but now time will need to be added if you boil a whole bunch of eggs. And then, of course, you run the risk of some of the shells cracking. People avoid this by putting the eggs into the cool water and then putting it on the heat. The water is then brought to a boil and then kept there for a predetermined time. The problem here is that it requires constant attention. When did the water start boiling? Were you watching it the whole time? Did it just start or has it been boiling for a few minutes without your noticing?

So here's the secret.

Steam.

That's right, you steam the eggs. I have a big pot with a small steamer basket that fits into the top. Bring the water to a boil without the steam basket in place. Put the cool eggs into the cool steamer basket, and place that in the top of the pot. put the lid on, and set the timer for twenty minutes (you folks at high altitude (I'm talking to you, Denver) may need to add a few more minutes). Fill a large bowl with cool water while you're waiting, and when the timer goes off, remove the eggs from the heat and put them in the cool water to stop them cooking. They're ready to eat in a few minutes (unless you like them hot, then they're ready right now)

They will come out perfect. The eggs will be fully cooked, the yolks fluffy and bright yellow. There is no better way to hard boil and egg consistently and without any breakage. Whether you do one or a dozen at a time, it's the same. Remember this next Easter.

Souper Chicken

I made chicken soup for my ill Girl Friend the other day. I don't quite know what the big deal is about chicken soup. It's not like it's hard to make. And it's only slightly less not hard to make a tasty chicken soup. I like to start with a chicken.

All kidding aside, I like a roast chicken and I like to use the leftover carcass to make either stock or soup. In fact, when it comes to stock, it's way easier to make it from the leftover roast (or baked) chicken than it is to start with raw ingredients. The roast chicken recipe is for another post, I'll assume you already made one. I often save the carcass in the freezer until I have two or three of them then I can make a big batch. It's real easy. Just put the bones in some water on the stove. how much water? Well, that's up to you. I use about a quart per bird. More if there's more meat on the bone. Bring it to a boil, then let it simmer for an hour or two. Then skim the fat off the top, strain the bones and meat out and you're done.

Hmmm, where to store it? Here's the easy trick. I'm sure you've been saving those plastic containers that the sour cream and margarine and yogurt come in. Fill up several of these with a measured amount (I use exactly one cup per container) and then freeze them overnight. The next day, pop the frozen pucks of stock out of the containers and wrap them individually while they're still frozen and put them in a bag back into the freezer. Now you have cup-sized pucks of frozen stock that you can thaw and use as you need, without taking up scads of space in the freezer. It works great.

Ok, say you're sweetheart's feeling under the weather when you get home from work. If you have a chicken carcass in the freezer, you're in luck. Throw it in a pot with a couple'a quarts of water, some salt, ground pepper, coarsely chopped carrots and a few cloves of garlic. While that comes to a boil, chop some onion, celery, and peppers (last night, I used jalapenos that I had cut the seeds and placentas out of(yeah, that's what that whitish/yellow structure inside the jalapeno is called, and it's the hottest part. Remove it and you get the flavor without a lot of heat) ). Saute that in a tiny bit of butter until the onion and celery start to soften. Dump that into the now boiling water and turn it down to a simmer. Add some dried parsley, dried rosemary, thyme, and a bay leaf.

Let that cook for about an hour then lift out the chicken carcass and let it drain and cool a bit in a colander over a bowl. Once it's cool enough to handle, remove all of the meat from the bones and chop it up and return it to the soup. Let it cook like that for another half hour or so. I like to cook rice separately and serve the soup with rice mixed in. Make this for your sick friends and it's like you're a hero. Just remember to pretend it was a lot of work.

Non-Stick it to The Man!

I had to throw out a non-stick pan this last weekend. I'd left it on the burner, empty, and forgot about it while I did something. By the time I got back, it was starting to smoke. I set it outside to cool off, then gave it a good scrubbing with a plastic scrubber. It was a bit discolored, but still usable. About a month later, I left it on the god damned burner again. I managed to pull it off before it started to smoke, but it was too much for the poor thing. Over the next few weeks, I began to notice that the bottom was beginning to flake. This is not a safe thing to cook in, so it was time to replace it.

Years ago, I used to just accept that non-stick pans would be useless within a few uses. I didn't realize that metal spatulas would ruin them. (Look, I was barely 22 and living on my own for the first time. Non-stick cook pans were still a novelty to me. My mother had only ever used cast iron frying pans when I was a kid). Well, I found out that they would last longer if I got a plastic spatula, and they did, but I still had problems.

I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I eventually figured out that I was still ruining my pans because I was stacking other pans inside my non-stick pans. I got smart finally and got a rack to hang my pans from. Boy, that made a difference. This last pan (the one I ruined through my own carelessness) was about to turn 8 years old, with not a single scratch or mark on the Teflon surface. I think I paid $30 for it, and it was a great pan.

I often shop at the restaurant supply store (Cash & Carry), and I've been eying the non-stick pans I see there. They tend to run in the $60 range for a 12" pan, but they have nice riveted handles that don't come loose and they're thick like cast iron. Well, I couldn't bring myself to spend that much so I went to the housewares section of the local grocery store (Lamb's Thriftway, if you're curious) and found a Berndes 11" frying pan for $30. It's not as thick walled as the pro one, (though it is thick) and the handle is screwed on, but it's as good as my old one, and if I get 8 years out of it (and I don't see why I couldn't) I'll have gotten a bargain.

Well, I've had occasion to use the pan a several times, and let me say I'm totally happy. No, I have received no money from this company to pimp their product, but I will say that I wouldn't mind getting a free set of pans from them (hint hint). Often, the frying pans sold at the grocery store are pathetic looking, thin aluminum with a non-stick surface that appears to have come out of a spray can. The handles start off loose, and go downhill from there. This Berndes pan is nice, thick (well, thick enough. I'd prefer a couple of more millimeters, but hey, it's $30) and the Teflon is as smooth as glass. I made an omelet (well, more of a frittata) for my Girl Friend this morning, and it was like the egg floated above the pan without really touching. It's been very good for whatever I've cooked in it, and of course, very easy to clean.

So, if you get non-stick cookware, remember these things;

-Don't use metal utensils
-Don't stack other pans inside of them. Stand them in a dish rack in your cupboard or hang them up
-Don't use too much heat, and don't forget the fucking things on the hot burner like I did.


Update

The pan didn't hold up well to heavy use, and I don't think that it was a problem with the quality of manufacture, but with the fact that on several occasions I was cooking with coarse sea salt in the pan. The coarse sea salt abraded the non-stick surface and put some really ugly scratches in there. I have since replaced that pan with another from the Cash and Carry (United Grocers or Smart & final, depending on your location) and it has stood up wonderfully. I am NOT using the coarse sea salt in it this time.

Thighmaster

For some reason, chicken thighs are unbelievably cheap. These are a great source of protein, and they can be very tasty if you know how to cook them. I often find them in the meat section for under 50 cents a pound. When they're that cheap, I tend to buy a lot and freeze them. I like to freeze them wrapped individually so I only have to thaw the amount I want to use. I usually buy them with the bone in and skin on. They're pretty easy to bone, especially while they're still a tiny bit frozen, and I save the bones and skin for stock in a bag in the freezer.

I generally use thighs in place of pork. Now don't get me wrong, I love pork, but my sweetheart is Jewish and, though she is not a kosher Jew, she still won't eat any pork beyond bacon. She's "kosher style" as my friend Mike used to say. The dark meat from the thighs is a pretty decent substitute, though. Here's a recipe for meatballs that I like. I stretch ground beef with equal or greater parts of ground chicken for this, and it's not bad. You'll need

1 & 1/2 pound each of ground thigh meat and ground beef (the thigh meat can be chopped fine in a food processor or by hand. I chop up the skins in there too if I'm using lean ground beef)
2 Tbsp each of crushed fennel and oregano
1 Tbsp each of basil and ground black pepper
4-5 cloves garlic, crushed and finely chopped
Salt (to taste and according to your health concerns)
1 cup bread crumbs
1 egg

Squish everything together in a mixing bowl until everything is well blended. You'll have to use your hand. It's loads of disgusting fun. Form the mix into golf ball sized meat balls set them in a shallow baking pan (like a jellyroll pan) with a bit of olive oil. Cook at about 350 for 30 minutes, then take them out and turn them, then bake for another ten or so. you can also fry them in a fryng pan, but that takes too damned long and makes too much of a mess.

Here's something else to remember. When you make your spaghetti sauce (you do make your own spaghetti sauce, don't you?), throw a thigh bone in there while it cooks on the back of the stove. It helps give the sauce a really hearty flavor.

When Buffaloes Fly

I like hot wing. Yes, they're messy to eat, and they're also messy to make. But they sure are tasty. Every once in a while when I'm at the grocery store, I'll see wings on sale for pennies per pound. I generally buy a few of the jumbo packs when they are. Somewhere between 5 and 8 dozen wings. When I'm ready to cook them, I cut the wings at the joint, discard the wing tip (actually, save it for stock) and start heating up the oil.

I cook them in huge batches and freeze most of them for later parties. The best way to cook them is outside. If you have a turkey fryer, that's the way to go, only don't use the 10 gallon pot you fry the turkey in, use something shallower. If you have a canning pot, that's the ideal size. You need something that'll hold about a gallon of cooking oil so you can cook about 2 dozen wings at a time.

Once the oil is hot (about 350 degrees), put a couple of dozen wings in and cook them for 15-18 minutes. If they're a little on the overdone side, that's fine. They're better a bit dry. As you do each batch, put the done ones aside to cool. Unless you plan on eating then right away, then set them in a warm oven to keep them hot.

A Large steel mixing bowl comes in handy for getting the sauce on them. Melt a bit of butter and mix in the hot sauce (purists will insist on Frank's brand hot sauce, but I find that stuff a bit bland. I make my own), pour it over the wings and toss them in the bowl to coat them all. Serve with some blue cheese or ranch dressing. I love 'em.

The hot sauce is easy, and you can make it in giant batches because it won't go bad, and it doesn't need refrigeration. Take one part salt, one part brown sugar, and three parts ground Cayenne pepper. Stir that together in a bowl, and then start adding apple cider vinegar while stirring until it gets the consistency of catsup. This will be very hot sauce, so you want to use it sparingly. The more butter (or margarine) you use, the less hot it will seem. Using it straight will be more than hot enough for all but the most die hard capsicum junkies.