Chili today.

Making really good Chili, the authentic TexMex variety, is really not too much of a mystery. Like many recipes, it's really just a few basic ingredients. The trouble comes when people try to doll it up with all of their "secret ingredients". It's easy to fuck up a good thing by getting too cute with it.

First off, let me say that if you want to add things to this recipe, feel free. It's a very basic start. I think it's great the way it is, but if you want to be the guy who adds a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or a can of pears or beer or whatever, you go right ahead. Good luck at the next chili cook-off. Secondly, I'm not going to get into the "beans vs. no-beans" debate. If you like beans in your chili, go ahead and make it like that. This recipe doesn't have beans. This recipe has no tomatoes or tomato sauce either. You may feel free to add that as well. Thirdly, this chili is hot. Not habenero chili hot, but plenty hot enough that if you aren't into hot food, you're going to want to tone it down some. I hate the "n-alarm chili" bullshit. It's a scale designed by people who find catsup to be spicy (1-alarm), i.e., pussies. If I had to put it on that scale, I'd say it was 4-5 alarm (see, they made me do it any way. God damn I hate that). Fourthly and finally, this is pork chili. You may feel free to use beef, chicken, or even tofu. I don't think it'll matter so damned much.

OK, let's begin...

2 lbs of pork chopped into acorn sized pieces
2 Dried ancho or New Mexico chili peppers (it is chili, after all)
1 large onion, chopped
4 good sized jalepenos (fresh. Canned won't work)
5 cloves of garlic minced finely
2 Tbsp ground cumin
1 Tbsp dried oregano
A few chicken bones to make stock
some bacon fat or olive oil or beef suet or a combination of any of those.


First things first. Get those Jalepenos into the toaster oven and start roasting them at 450 or so. While that's going on, put the chicken bones in two cups of water on the stove and bring that to a boil. Chop the anchos and remove the stems and add them to the stock as it's heats. Once it boils, bring it down to a simmer and remove the scum from the top. When the jalepenos have blistered (it should take about 20 minutes) drop them into cold water and then remove the celophane-like skins. Cut the stems off and place them into a blender. By now, the stock should be good. Fish the bones out and let the liquid cool. While that's happening, start browning the pork (with the onions). When the pork is almost done, add the garlic and the cumin, stir it well and then remove from the heat. When the stock is cool, pour it into the blender with the ancho chili and the jalepenos that are already in there. Puree it and then pour it back into a large pot. Add the pork and onion from the skillet. Bring this to a simmer and let it cook for an hour. It doesn't need to cook all day, but that wouldn't really hurt.

You can serve it as-is, like a stew, or you can serve it with some hominy. You could put it on rice (my favorite), on corn bread, or over a couple of tamales. It's all good.

Taco shells, the hard way.

Making your own taco shells is not that difficult. Especially if you start out with store-bought corn tortillas. That's how your favorite restaurant does it, by the way. Making your own tortillas would keep you in the kitchen all damned day.

When I was a kid, I had a friend who's mom used to make tacos the old fashioned way, in the frying pan. Of course, the way she did it was to fill the soft tortilla first and lay it in the hot grease to crisp up on each side. Those were good tacos, but a bit greasy. I didn't care. We're going to make the taco shells empty, and once they cool off a bit, you can fill them any way you want.

The way I make 'em is to take my smallest non-stick pan, and fill it about 3/4" to 1" deep with oil (the oil is still usable after you fry the tortillas in it, so save it all in a jar when you're done), heat it up and lay a tortilla in there for a couple of seconds, turn it over and quickly form it into the taco shape with your tongs and a spatula. This takes a bit of experimenting to get the shape just right, and your first couple may come out a bit odd. Fry it for about a minute on each side so that it's crispy, then set it upside down on some paper towels to cool.

The Good: These are the best taco shells ever. They are crispy, but they still have a bit of "give" so they don't crack in half when you bite into them. Store bought taco shells don't have the same texture, and they're really too pricey considering how many of them are broken.

The Bad: It takes some time to make them. It takes me about an half hour to make a dozen, and you can't do much else while you're doing it. This is when your kids will decide to cause the most trouble because they have an innate sense that you can't drop what your doing, so they should be able to get away with a lot of shit. I find threats of physical violence necessary when I'm occupied like this. "I'm going to beat your asses up around your shoulders" seemed to do the trick last time. Feel free to use that one.

The Ugly: Getting the tortilla to cooperate in the hot oil with just tongs and a spatula is sometimes (hell, all times) maddening. You want the fold to have a nice radius to it so that you can get more stuff into the finished shell. It sometimes takes both hands to hold it in the proper position while it cooks. Plus, there's a lot of oil on the stove top when you're done.

A fabulous recipe for Ice Cubes, and another one for Rice

Ok, I'm kidding of course. Ice cubes are pretty simple. Hell, I'm probably one of the few people in this world who doesn't have an ice-maker in my freezer. I still use the trays. The trouble is that I needed ice so infrequently that I would find the ice had evaporated in the freezer, leaving behind foul tasting flakes of ice that would pollute the flavor of whatever I was putting it in. The trick I learned was to make ice, then store the cubes in a zip-lock bag. That way, the ice didn't evaporate or pick up any weird odors while sitting in the freezer for months on end (literally). So I guess this is about ice cubes after all.

But Ice cube trays have another really great use. Food storage.

Have you ever had a recipe that called for a tablespoon of tomato paste? Where the hell do you find that quantity of tomato paste? You need to open one of those little tins, use just one tbsp, and then put the rest in your refrigerator hoping that you'll need the rest before it gets fuzzy, and hoping that you'll remember that it's even there if you do need a small amount in the next few days.

Next time you need a small amount of tomato paste, open up several cans and measure out single tablespoons and place them in an ice-cube tray. Freeze them, and when they're hard, pop them out onto a zip-lock bag and keep it in the freezer. Next time you need a tablespoon of tomato paste, don't reach for the can opener, reach into the freezer. Voila!

Next time you have a recipe that calls for a roux, make up a huge batch. Measure out single tablespoons into an ice-cube tray. Pop them out when they're frozen and bag 'em up and put 'em back in the freezer.

I like to make chicken stock. It's good to have at hand, but it won't keep so long in the refrigerator, and I really don't want to try to can it myself. I pour premeasured amounts (one cup) into margarine tubs and freeze it. I then pop them out of the tubs and bag 'em up individually and keep 'em in the freezer. That way, I always have some on hand when I want it. You can do the same with beef stock or fish stock. Just grab a puck of stock when you need it.

So, here's the recipe for rice that I promised you in the header. It's for a quick and easy Spanish rice, the kind you always get at the Mexican restaurant right next to the refried beans. I have never been to Spain, and I'm sure that they don't make rice this way there, but I have ben to Mexico and a lot of Mexican restaurants and I can say (with confidence) that this fits the bill for your next fiesta.

Here's what you need;

1 cup of rice (long grain, white. I generally use basmati)
1 cup chicken stock
1 cup water
1 Tbsp tomato paste
1 Tbsp oregano
1/4-1/2 tsp chili powder (depending on how spicy you want)
Salt, to taste
1/4 cup frozen corn niblets
1/4 cup frozen peas


Pour the water, stock and tomato paste in a pot with the rice (if you started out with frozen stock and/or tomato paste, then make sure to thaw it in the water before adding the rice). Add the oregano and stir. Put it on high heat. When it starts to boil, reduce heat and cook covered for 20 minutes. After 20 minutes, stir in corn and peas and cook (covered) for 2 more minutes then remove form heat and let sit for about 5 minutes. Then serve.

Another quick way to do this if you've got no chicken stock is to place a chicken bone in two cups of water with a tablespoon of tomato paste, oregano, chili powder, and a quarter of an onion. Bring it to a boil and simmer it for an hour or so, then fish out the onion and the bone, add the dry rice and cook just like above.

Now, you may or may not know this, but they sell a box of Spanish rice at the grocery store. It's basically a box of rice with a "seasoning" packet. Read the ingredients and you'll see things like "maltodextrin" and "hydrolized corn protien" (whatever the fuck that is). I'm sure there's nothing that's actually bad for you in there, but isn't it nicer to make things with a few simple ingredients at home than to pour the highly engineered contents of a foil envelope into a pot of boiling water? I know my way won't take you any longer.

Cheesus H. Christ!

Often, I get a wild idea in my head that I should try making something from scratch and then set out on a search of the web and the cookbook collection I have to find it. Usually, it's some convenience food that comes in a box or can that seems somehow wasteful or frivolous, but sometimes, it's a major undertaking. For example, today I made Lasagna from scratch. That entailed making tomato sauce, making sausage (I used ground beef and a turkey thigh plus spices and bacon fat), and making the pasta from flour and eggs. It pretty much took the better part of the day, but it came out good. Lots of left-overs in the freezer as well (about three dinners worth).

Recently, though, I turned my mind to a classic staple that is a major component of most kids diets. To wit, Mac & cheese. I have two boys (6 and 8) who would eat nothing but mac and cheese for every lunch and dinner. There's the Kraft stuff in a cardboard box, and since I'm cheep, I generally get the store brand by the cartload, but I feel like a slack-assed parent whenever I dump that crap into the pot for the boys.

I made up my mind the other day to try to make it from scratch. My first attempt was a disaster. You can't derive a recipe by reading the ingredients list on the box. that's all I'm gonna say about that. For those of you who read my blog (all 1 of you), you may remember my post on pancakes. You may recall that it was shockingly easy to make them. Well, the same is true for mac and cheese. In fact, you have all of the ingredients in the house right now. I bet you really do.

You will need

Some pasta (I use penne, but elbow macaroni would make the kids feel better, I suppose). I don't know how much it takes to fill two soup bowls, but that's how I measured it out for the boys. Of course, it'll be more once it's cooked, but the extra is good in case one or both of the kids want seconds.
3 Tbsp. butter
3 Tbsp flour (all purpose)
1 cup of milk
1/2 cup grated cheese (cheddar works for me, but you could really use almost anything)
Some salt (to taste)


Get a pot of water on for the pasta and get that cooking as soon as you can, Get another pot (or pan) with the milk in it, and start heating that up. Don't bring the milk to a boil, just get it hot. Once it's hot, pour it back into the measuring cup and then melt the butter in that pan. Once it's starting to get all liquid-y, then sprinkle in the flour and stir that into the butter. You want to cook the flour in the butter (this is called a "roux", just in case you didn't know), but not so much that it starts to turn brown. Once the flour and butter are pretty much done, add the hot milk. It will foam a bit and thicken nicely as you continue to stir it on the heat. Now start stirring in the grated cheese. It will now start to look like real cheese sauce. Taste it and add salt (it will need it).

By now, the pasta is cooked. Drain it and then put it back in the pot and pour the cheese sauce on it. Stir and serve to a very appreciative child (or grown-up).

You see how fucking easy that is? Don't you feel silly for buying the boxes? I don't think this takes any more time or effort than the instant stuff, though it's probably a close call as to which one would be cheaper.

Oh, Pears!

Hey, It's pear season here in the Pacific Northwest. It's also that time between Thanksgiving and Christmas when turkeys are easy to come by. Well, this is a recipe for turkey thighs (you could probably try it with a turkey breast, or a half chicken even. Let me know if it comes out good) and a pear or two. It's turkey thighs baked on a bed of pear slices. It's even better than it sounds, when you serve it up with mashed potatoes. Here's what you need;

2 turkey thighs, bone in and skin on
1 good sized pear (Bosc is what I used, but you can try whatever)
1 small onion
2 Tbsp brown sugar
1 tbsp coarse salt (like kosher salt or sea salt)
2 tsp ground black pepper
3 tbsp dried parsley
1 tsp thyme
Some butter

Preheat the oven to 374

Start out by peeling the pear, as you would a potato, and cut it into 1/4" slices. Remove and discard the stem and seeds and lay the slices into the bottom of a baking dish. Cut a couple of 1/4" slices of the peeled onion and lay them in there too. Put a small smear of butter on each of the slices of onion, then sprinkle about a half tbsp of the brown sugar over the pear and onion slices.

Put the rest of the Sugar, salt, pepper, parsley and black pepper into a bowl and mix it together. Rub that mix into the turkey thighs (both sides) and lay them skin side down on top of the pears and onions in the baking dish. Pop that into the oven for about 40 minutes while you make mashed potatoes. After 40 minutes, take the baking dish out and carefully turn over the thighs so that the skin side is up. Pop it back into the oven for another 30 minutes.

When it's done, remove the thighs from the baking dish and slice them, removing the bone. The pears should be served alongside the mashed potatoes, or mixed in with them. It's a very nice flavor combination.

Hard Boil an Egg (perfectly, every time)

How hard is this? It's hard to do so consistently without making a science project out of it. Use the Google and search "Hard boiled eggs" and you'll see what I mean. I was amazed how complicated people can make it.

I recently got the hot tip for how to do it perfectly without any broken shells or green yolks.

The secret, of course, is time and temperature. The water should be boiling (duh). The problem with this is that if you put the cool eggs into the boiling water, it brings down the temperature so you need to wait for the water to come back up to a boil. Fine for one egg, but now time will need to be added if you boil a whole bunch of eggs. And then, of course, you run the risk of some of the shells cracking. People avoid this by putting the eggs into the cool water and then putting it on the heat. The water is then brought to a boil and then kept there for a predetermined time. The problem here is that it requires constant attention. When did the water start boiling? Were you watching it the whole time? Did it just start or has it been boiling for a few minutes without your noticing?

So here's the secret.

Steam.

That's right, you steam the eggs. I have a big pot with a small steamer basket that fits into the top. Bring the water to a boil without the steam basket in place. Put the cool eggs into the cool steamer basket, and place that in the top of the pot. put the lid on, and set the timer for twenty minutes (you folks at high altitude (I'm talking to you, Denver) may need to add a few more minutes). Fill a large bowl with cool water while you're waiting, and when the timer goes off, remove the eggs from the heat and put them in the cool water to stop them cooking. They're ready to eat in a few minutes (unless you like them hot, then they're ready right now)

They will come out perfect. The eggs will be fully cooked, the yolks fluffy and bright yellow. There is no better way to hard boil and egg consistently and without any breakage. Whether you do one or a dozen at a time, it's the same. Remember this next Easter.

Souper Chicken

I made chicken soup for my ill Girl Friend the other day. I don't quite know what the big deal is about chicken soup. It's not like it's hard to make. And it's only slightly less not hard to make a tasty chicken soup. I like to start with a chicken.

All kidding aside, I like a roast chicken and I like to use the leftover carcass to make either stock or soup. In fact, when it comes to stock, it's way easier to make it from the leftover roast (or baked) chicken than it is to start with raw ingredients. The roast chicken recipe is for another post, I'll assume you already made one. I often save the carcass in the freezer until I have two or three of them then I can make a big batch. It's real easy. Just put the bones in some water on the stove. how much water? Well, that's up to you. I use about a quart per bird. More if there's more meat on the bone. Bring it to a boil, then let it simmer for an hour or two. Then skim the fat off the top, strain the bones and meat out and you're done.

Hmmm, where to store it? Here's the easy trick. I'm sure you've been saving those plastic containers that the sour cream and margarine and yogurt come in. Fill up several of these with a measured amount (I use exactly one cup per container) and then freeze them overnight. The next day, pop the frozen pucks of stock out of the containers and wrap them individually while they're still frozen and put them in a bag back into the freezer. Now you have cup-sized pucks of frozen stock that you can thaw and use as you need, without taking up scads of space in the freezer. It works great.

Ok, say you're sweetheart's feeling under the weather when you get home from work. If you have a chicken carcass in the freezer, you're in luck. Throw it in a pot with a couple'a quarts of water, some salt, ground pepper, coarsely chopped carrots and a few cloves of garlic. While that comes to a boil, chop some onion, celery, and peppers (last night, I used jalapenos that I had cut the seeds and placentas out of(yeah, that's what that whitish/yellow structure inside the jalapeno is called, and it's the hottest part. Remove it and you get the flavor without a lot of heat) ). Saute that in a tiny bit of butter until the onion and celery start to soften. Dump that into the now boiling water and turn it down to a simmer. Add some dried parsley, dried rosemary, thyme, and a bay leaf.

Let that cook for about an hour then lift out the chicken carcass and let it drain and cool a bit in a colander over a bowl. Once it's cool enough to handle, remove all of the meat from the bones and chop it up and return it to the soup. Let it cook like that for another half hour or so. I like to cook rice separately and serve the soup with rice mixed in. Make this for your sick friends and it's like you're a hero. Just remember to pretend it was a lot of work.